oy...

**apologies for the poor writing quality and incoherence of this entry; i'm really tired but feeling creative/emotive/in need of catharsis**

so, i should really get to bed soon, or more likely, start what will become my nightly routine of: iron my clothes for tomorrow, make lunch for tomorrow and otherwise get ready to wake up at an ungodly hour, but

i wanted to post a bit about how i'm in a much better mood than i was last night, for some reason...
last night i was really annoyed, hopefully this won't offend anyone reading this, after spending some time with some friends, and i realized i'm really starting to get sick of all these labels that the left puts on each other- lately, everything that doesn't fit people's exact image of what a true leftist, or someone who's political enough, or something, everyone's (well not EVERYONE) favorite word seems to be "bourg-y" (no idea how to spell it but it's a shortened adjective form of bourgeouis) and i'm really fucking sick of all the hypocrisy.

it seems like everyone's just too fuckin "armchair" or "bourg-y" no matter what they do, but the realy hypocrisy seems to be that the people who just love labeling people and putting them in these not cool enough/not political enough boxes seem pretty fucking "boug-y" to me, when they seem to have all the newest status symbols, mooching of mommy and daddy and seeming to have no self control to avoid satisfying their need for instant gratification, whether it's fashion, food, substances, sex.....what have you. dude, just cuz you put on the fucking starving artist act, it doesn't mean that's you. you can't possibly say you're not bourg-y when you keep having shit handed to you. so ok, maybe you're not loaded with trust-fund induced gadgets and hundred dollar handbags, but come on...and it's complete hypocrisy for all these people like this, who are students or single people who have no responsibilities in life except checking their email, getting to work or class, finding a place to sleep at night and keeping up with the latest trends.

you know what- in some ways, the notion of family in this world, in this city (forgetting for a minute that i'm not "b and t"), is pretty fucking radical. and i'm getting fucking sick and tired of having to defend people who live in the real world, people who have children, spouses/partners, siblings, parents and other relatives to worry about, who have real responsibilities, which may require them to act politically in different ways.

honestly, i think you have more power as a consumer of alcohol, fast food, cigarettes, jeans, computers and flip flops, than you do as a member of a huge protest mob. look at the world. the fact that you even have the privilege of traveling around the world to witness other political struggles puts you up their on the continuum of wealth and privilege and we as americans just really don't get it. for the most part. so, until you can say you've lived on 10 bucks a day with no extra alcohol budget, or spared yourself some new trends to save up for someone else's future, i don't fucking want to hear it about the "bourg-y" armchair activists.

and that's the end of my rant.

(and my disclaimer- i'm not saying i've had to brave the real world either, but at least i don't go around judging everyone and their apartment building by these characteristics, or at least i try not to, and if you ever catch me doing it, i want you to call me on it, unless i'm complaining about my fellow cornellians who are up in the high 5-digit incomes in their insane finance jobs gambling away money on private prisons and predatory lending. they fucking deserve it....... ahh, the irony :) )


and although that was what was fucking pissing me off last night, i'm in a much better mood tonight- i had my first day back at work today, post chicken-pox, and it was really exhausting and i need to go to bed. but, even though my first patient to recruit this AM was only spanish speaking and i must have sounded like a complete disrespectful moron reading to her off of a sheet aboud colon cancer, in crappy spanish, she enrolled in the study! which was exciting, so i couldn't have been that bad.
but now i must get to bed for my next of many future days as a member of the real working world. at least i have my ipod to get me through the commute :) (yes, again with the crappy irony/sarcasm)

p.s.- here's an im i just wrote:

MiniVAVster: ya, seriously, no more late night ices for me
MiniVAVster: i'm fuckin pooped

ciao, over and out