9/11 and slope day

well, i started writing a post a little while ago about how it's the night before my last slope day and the night after my last day of classes as undergraduate. ever. and about how this is all making me very sentimental and thinking about the past 4 yrs and how they went so fast and i have so many regrets, and while i'm eager to go out and jump off the cliff, how it's so fucking scary to leave this place.

but it got deleted before i published it.

and i still can't sleep bc of all of this.

so i'm trying to make a mix on itunes celebrating/contemplating the past 4 yrs that hopefully other people will be able to access.

i'm contemplating a temporary blog for cornell seniors to do some reflecting and sharing. we'll see.

i just found this clip: http://streaming1.video.cornell.edu:8080/ramgen/cu/remembrance_914.rm from the ceremony after 9/11/01

that brings back so many memories- i really feel like our class had a strong bond because of 9/11, that we had to create connections and families bc we were struck by this incomprehensible event after we had only been here for about 2 weeks. jeez, that was a crazy time.

this clip actually brought tears to my eyes several times. hearing ken clarke utter a prayer on behalf of the mass number of members of the cornell community who turned out on that day is just an unbelievable feeling. and i still remember the song that samite of uganda did that day "anyoyo." he's back for another concert sometime this month- maybe it already happened-- and his name has poppped up various times over the years, but that song, i think, will always stick in my mind.

i remember thinking how safe i felt up here in the middle of cow and apple-land. i think that feeling of safety is something i'm going to have difficulty leaving in the next few weeks.

also on the clip is a rendition by the glee club/chorus of "mlk" by u2. i have no recollection of that being sung at the ceremony, but several months later downloaded/discovered it and it remains one of my favorite songs.

and big bird up there on the platfom. hunter rawlings. i wonder what lehman would have done during that time. even though i never felt any particularly feelings one way or the other about the waspy fellow, i feel like he did wield some sort of comforting authority up there on that podium, his mostly salt hair blowing in the mid-september wind.
wow, there's a lot i really need to savour in the next few weeks. maybe it's time to get cracking on those papers and cover letters so i can really do this savouring.

i'm sure there will be more contemplating, snuffling and remembering to come.